I’m sweating in more places than I thought possible. I can feel warm, salty beads slither their way from the back of my head to the top of my arse. I’ve been running on a closed Florida highway for four miles since 5am and I’m ready to lie in the middle of the road and hope for a truck to end me when a lady wearing a full chef’s outfit overtakes me.
“This is a real cake!” she yells, gesturing to the two-tier birthday cake she’s cradling as she dashes by. “I made it last night before I went to bed!” I shoot her a forced smile as she leaves me in her floury dust. This isn’t even the first tray of baked goods that has passed me over the last couple of hours because this is no ordinary race – I’ve been running a half marathon around, through and on the highways adjacent to Disney World in Florida.
Disney began hosting running events in 1994 and these races have become an obsession for the hundreds of thousands who flock to the parks multiple times a year for themed running events. Disneygoers call these events “runcations”. I’ve been running since 2020 and, annoyingly, everything you’ve heard from bouncy influencers and PE teachers about running being good for your body and mental health is true, which is why you’ll find me plodding around Victoria Park two or three times a week banging out below average 5ks and uploading sweaty selfies to Strava.
The idea of planning an entire holiday around a run sounded like a laugh and as a card-carrying lover of theme parks, I managed to get a spot in the runDisney Wine & Dine Half Marathon Weekend. I signed up to the race months ago with a plan to become a different, healthier person. Those aspirations didn’t quite transpire but unfortunately the flights were non-refundable so here I am, more than 4,000 miles from my bed trailing a woman running with a cake bigger than my head. It wasn’t always like this – just days before I had been sipping ice cold beer watching another breathtaking Florida sunset. Let me take you back to those beautiful days and talk you through my journey as a Disney athlete.
Gav Murphy prepares for the Disney World half marathon with a beer spa
FOUR DAYS UNTIL RACE DAY
I touched down in Florida four days before my run. I wasn’t sure if this was enough time to acclimatise; Usain Bolt took 12 days to get used to London before winning all them medals so I was a bit behind. I doubt he exclusively drank Miller Lite prior to running either but then I don’t think first place was ever on the cards for me. Luckily, in the runDisney events, everyone gets the same medal and they’re all sort of gold.
I’d finished three half marathons prior to my Disney trip and while each of them felt like a huge pain in the arse, I fancied doing more. I wanted to make a trip of this one and, while I do love the beautiful chaos of Disney World and Universal Studios, I also wanted to switch off. This is impossible at the parks’ own hotels, which are understandably full of children screaming after their day at the Happiest Place on Earth. A buddy of mine recommended a place called Kissimmee, which is far enough away from the parks that the screams are but distant echoes and close enough that there’s still plenty going on. Coincidentally, the only thing I knew about Kissimmee before heading there is that it’s home to Olympic Gold medal sprinter, Justin Gatlin. If the dewy, dreamy suburbs of Kissimmee are good enough for an Olympic champ, then there was hope for me.
I typed “things athletes can do before a race” into the Experience Kissimmee website’s search bar and while there were understandably very few hits, I did manage to pack my week full of what I would say is a pre-race itinerary perfect for a champion.
THREE DAYS UNTIL RACE DAY
For my athlete village, I checked into a frankly stunning rental home in the Spectrum Resort, which is home to hundreds of perfect, serene houses that line pristine estates. Think top of the line Airbnb with the amenities of a five star hotel. This is one of the best places I’ve stayed in Florida and is top of my list for my next theme park trip. I spent many evenings watching men whacking balls down a pure, green golf course, and while I couldn’t risk injury by joining them, witnessing them from afar with a lager in my hand was good enough for me.
Gav Murphy meets his hero after the Disney World half marathon
What was even better than the accommodation was Kissimmee Old Town. It’s a kitschy, vintage town that feels like Margate crossed with a California boardwalk. Old Town boasts a collection of little fairgrounds, karaoke bars and – the absolute highlight for any athlete soon to be undertaking a race he is ill-prepared for – a shop that sells moonshine. One of Maw’s Mountain Moonshine’s drinks was called White Lightning, which sounded fast, so I enjoyed several of those while visualising my race.
TWO DAYS UNTIL RACE DAY
Athletes need fuel. I read that somewhere. Athletes also need inspiration but I didn’t read that anywhere. Where can a man go to both be inspired and fill himself with carbs? How about a medieval themed restaurant where knighted lads pretend to beat the shit out of each other while you stuff your face! I told every knight that would listen at Medieval Times that I was, like them, about to embark on an adventure for glory. The bewildered and patient swordsmiths had very few words of encouragement for me but having lined my tank with all the potatoes I could handle I left feeling more prepared for my half marathon than ever. Which is to say, still not very prepared.
ONE DAYS UNTIL RACE DAY
I thought it would be a good idea to get a spa day in as part of my training. A bit of research revealed an enchanting spa close to my Kissimmee headquarters. It boasted hot tubs and a private sauna for total muscle preparation, so I knew it was a good one. The spa I booked also happened to have unlimited beer and the baths are filled with hot hops. My Beer Spa says soaking in the ingredients used to make beer results in “maximum mental and physical relaxation” and I, for one, believe them. To keep the mix of relaxation and booze going, I also checked into the St Somewhere Spa in the Margaritaville Resort for a pre-race massage and stretch session. Let me tell you: green tea, panpipes and lavender smoothies are all well and good but you haven’t lived until you’ve had a full body rub-down administered between sips of deadly-strong frozen margaritas.
With my muscles relaxed and stinking of an old man’s boozer, I headed to pick up my race bib and to schmooze with the other Disney sweat enthusiasts at something called the ‘runDisney Expo’. This is essentially a huge convention centre filled with merch stalls and running paraphernalia and a man dressed like the dragon from Mulan. Luckily, I’m not an easy mark so I only came away with a runDisney themed mug, waterproof jacket, reflective running top, special edition trainers and a souvenir photo of me and the little dragon fella.
I spied a wall featuring the Disney World half marathon route and pushed through the crowd to get my first look at the soon to be conquered map. As I approached, I heard a fellow contender whisper to his wife, “That’s… a lot of highway”. He wasn’t wrong. While the 5k and 10k races mostly see you running around the Epcot park (the secret best park in all of Disney), to make up the required 13.1 miles of a half marathon, a large portion takes place on the neighbouring motorways. These would thankfully be closed to traffic but still, it didn’t sound that enticing.
I was ready for my final pre-run meal and while most people tend to stock up on pasta, I ventured to Kissimmee’s Sunset Walk, which feels like a sparklier version of the Old Town. The choice of food on offer is daunting but I spied four magic words on the side of a building: “All You Can Eat” at KPOT Korean BBQ & Hot Pot. As something of a connoisseur of hot pot, I was excited by the prospect of getting my own personal broth pot to cook up some weird concoction like Ratatouille piloting his human meat puppet. I was not disappointed.
With a belly full of Korean-spiced meat, I laid out my running gear and attempted to get some sleep before my ludicrously early call time. Tomorrow was the Big Day.
Gav Murphy crosses the finishing line at the Disney World Florida half marathon
RACE DAY
Because the runs take place in and beside the parks, they need to be done and dusted early so regular Disneygoers’ plans aren’t ruined by sweaty little cardio gremlins. This is why these events open from 3am and kick off at 5am. This actually kind of helps pasty Welshmen like myself with regards to the heat but I don’t think a 2am alarm before a 13.1 mile run is good for anyone, pasty or otherwise.
It feels odd to be heading to Disney World so early but luckily I had the company of almost 14,000 other runners. I’ve done half marathons in Wales and in England before and felt a similar level of nerves before them but being in a different country adds a whole other aura of anxiety.
Are their bananas full of chemicals outlawed in the UK? Will there be anyone there from St John’s Ambulance to put me in the recovery position?
I was, quite frankly, bricking it. I’d necked four cups of tea and thrown down two Campfire S’more flavoured energy gels when the pop from a firework signalled it was my turn to go to the start line. Starting a race alongside thousands of excited Disney fans in various colourful costumes was a brilliant, surreal experience. The effort involved from the participants and the organisers is breathtaking and a sense of zen-like happiness overwhelmed me.
This was quickly dispelled by a sharp, aggressive rumble in my belly. Perhaps I shouldn’t have knocked back so many of those gels… I knew there were toilets on the route but I hadn’t memorised their locations. I hoped they weren’t far.
One of the great things about runDisney events is that they pepper the course with costumed characters, some that are rarely seen out in the parks. I’d decided that I wasn’t going to stop for photos but the first character I happened upon had almost no queue so I decided – in the name of serious journalism – that this piece would be better for having a photo of me with a Disney Princess. If the prospect of soiling myself in public was making me anxious, that worry increased exponentially when I was in the presence of royalty. Soon after my encounter with the monarchy, I spied a row of empty port-a-loos. Drama averted.
The first five miles flew by like a dream. I weaved in and out of the Disney parks, passing my favourite rides, treading empty streets usually bustling with tourists. Getting to run around Disney World when it’s empty almost feels illegal and I would recommend any hardcore Disney nut sign up immediately for a chance to experience your beloved park like never before.
If Gav Murphy can race like this, so can you!
The final miles on the outstretched Florida highways weren’t quite as exciting but in my darkest times, there was always someone running near me in a bonkers costume to cheer me up. It’s also one of the only races I’ve done where I struck up full conversations with strangers running next to me, which I would usually hate. But runDisney feels like you’re running in the middle of a strange, ridiculous and overwhelmingly welcoming community.
I passed the giant Epcot ball in the final stretches of the run and stopped for one last photo. Looking at it now, I look like a shell of a man but somehow I still have a smile on my face. My legs felt like they were no longer attached to my body as I approached the finishing line but that didn’t matter because, as I lifted my arms in celebration, I caught a wave from the big man himself, Mickey Mouse, who’d presumably taken time out of his busy schedule to congratulate me on a race well run. Even better, moments after I dragged myself over the line I spotted the lady from earlier handing out slices of her cake to everyone. I swallowed that baked dream whole and stepped up to receive my gold medal.
• To sign up for the next runDisney race at Disney World Florida, go to the website here