You may know how you’re voting, but what about your polling station-bound dog? Here’s our guide to pet pawlitics
Cockapoo
Like Labour voters, these floppy-eared yappers are now ten a penny
Often sighted at Blank Street coffee shops with a matcha latte in paw (oat milk OFC)
Centrist vibes
Doesn’t remember the Iraq war
Used to vote Tory, now votes Labour
Bichon frise
Red is her colour but sadly she can’t vote Labour due to of her love of foie gras
Likely to live in Lib Dem suburbs but aspires to a zone 1 townhouse
Never touched grass in her life so happy to bulldoze over the green belt
Pretty (and votes Tory)
XL Bully
Says things like “not ALL XL bullies”
Does NOT like regulation – or muzzles (or foreign dogs)
Insurgent campaigner who hates being told what to do
No nanny state, nans or toddlers
Votes Reform
Corgi
Monarchists
Wants to abolish inheritance tax (mummy worked very hard for the lifestyle they’re accustomed to)
Currently at their summer retreat and forgot to apply for a postal vote
Dalmation
Anti-fur campaigner
Worried about two child benefit cap (thinks 101 a more reasonable cut-off)
Smart, but not in the way that counts
NEVER changes its spots (fiercely loyal Lib Dem)
Shiba Inu
Anarcho-capitalist
Tells you about how they made their fortune investing in crypto
One of the few voters swayed by the various parties’ memes
Soils their ballot
Greyhound
Sensitive soul susceptible to party donation appeals
Rescued from Battersea to live in Hackney
RUNS to the polling station
Sympathises with the underdog (Greens, independents)
Pomeranian
Nationally famed as cute and fluffy, but known by the locals as vicious
Barks at builders
Knows how to work a camera
Throws dirty looks at the neighbours’ dogs
Votes Lib Dem
Labrador Retriever
Loyal but stupid
Hungry for Change (and treats)
Rishi Sunak has one, so like Adidas Sambas they’re ruined for everyone
Does what his owner tells him (in this election: votes Labour)