At City A.M., we’ve long been fighting the evil misuses of language. But to mark election season, we’ve decided to venture out of the comfort of corporatopia and into the political wilderness. After all, if there’s anything we know about politicians, it’s that they’d rather say anything than what they actually mean. This week: the working person.
What does it mean?
People who work – GOTCHA. It can’t be that simple. The term, which appears deceptively simple, actually changes depending on one’s ideology – and media response.
Labour leader Keir Starmer this week got in trouble for defining working people (whose taxes he has promised not to raise) as “people who earn their living, rely on our services and don’t really have the ability to write a cheque when they get into trouble”. But Sir Keir had to quickly change tact when reminded that many of his target voters may in fact have savings accounts and aren’t keen on tax hikes either.
Dispatched to end the confusion, shadow chancellor Rachel Reeves yesterday gave the following watertight definition: “Working people are people who go out to work and work for their incomes. Sort of by definition, really, working people are those people who go out and work and earn their money through hard work.”
Who uses it?
Anyone who wants to cut through to the Great British Public, who will fawn and writhe in pleasure when they hear themselves referred to as a “working person” by one of those lofty politicians on the radio. Swoon, is what they will do, being oh so easily flattered at one of those top dogs recognising their hard graft.
Is a working person:
People who work
People who have inherited huge houses that require a lot of ‘work’ to upkeep (if you’re a Tory)
People who don’t have the ability to write a cheque
People who used to work
People who are planning on work but haven’t yet done a day’s work in their life
A builder
Is NOT a working person (& should be taxed):
Babies (layabouts)
People with cushy jobs (work must be ‘hard’)
People who WFH (you’ve got to “go OUT and work”, soz)
People in good health (working people must “rely on our services” you good-for-nothing perfect specimen)
Pensioners – GOTCHA again! They used to work, keep up
Edge cases:
People with savings (depends on the day)
Dead people (unclear)
Should we be worried?
Undoubtedly. As an ever-expanding definition, the “working people” will one day gather up so many subcategories of the population that it will include everyone on the planet, infants also (for they are doomed, like the rest of us poor sods) to one day “go out to work”. And thus, it will replace the former “people”. But, to be fair, being on this planet is hard work for everyone and it’s about time we got some damn recognition for it.
How do we get rid of it?
Work smarter, not harder: it’s time to celebrate idlers again. The loafers, the laggards, the skivers, the slobs: these are the truly inspiring. Saying NO to the rat race, because all it will accrue you is money to be taxed or not (see above list). It’s time for politicians to have a little time for those of us who stay in and do nowt. The ones who stay under their duvets all day, covered in crisp crumbs, clutching copies of City A.M. they got delivered to their door (sign up here: https://www.cityam.com/about/). You who form the backbone of our nation, we at this hallowed newspaper salute you. And don’t you forget it 😉