If there’s anything we know about politicians, it’s that they’d rather say anything but what they actually mean. But this election, we’re taking a stand and calling out the political jargon… This week: landslide.
Offender: Landslide
What does it mean?
Ch-ch-ch-ch-chaaaaaaaanges (ch-ch changes). And that’s bad for the status quo. Originally used by geologists to describe the sudden collapse of a land mass triggering highly destructive impact on the surrounding environment, the term was – unnaturally – co-opted some time during the 1800s by suited-and-booted politicos to add a sense of wild thrill to their desk-chained lives.
Typically thrown in with an “unprecedented” for good measure (nope, not even the UK’s nerdiest geologists predicted this one), warnings of landslides aim to centre that very time and moment into history – though one of the earliest cited uses of the term, from the Washington Post in 1890, offers a word of caution: “Both parties have in the past shouted over landslide victories, and each party has seen its landslide victory soon turned into overwhelming defeat.”
Who uses it?
Outgoing governments (pre-defeat), incoming governments (post-victory).
For the former, those set to be on the losing side of said landslide, using the term is a great way to make voters feel like they will be too – sharing is caring, after all. A deadly landslide is coming, they hark! Fear! Peril! Danger! Earth is crumbling and the sky is falling: run as fast as you can and don’t look back, collapse is inevitable. UNLESS you vote Tory, of course.
For the latter, it’s the sort of benevolent, subaerial landslide that throws fresh snow over the bones of the past, killing only the merchants of death who presided over the sorrowful times gone by. But look! They cry. A blank canvas! Opportunity! Rebirth! Renewal! Oh, happy days.
What could it be confused with?
Seeing your reflection in the snow-covered hills
Someone winning a (super)majority
The sliding down or subsidence of a large mass of earth
Should we be worried?
Undoubtedly. Warning signs of a landslide can include “new cracks or unusual bulges in the ground or pavements”. According to the RAC, there are currently more than 1m potholes in the UK. Scary. Landslides can be triggered by heavy rain, earthquakes or volcanic eruptions; in dear England of course, it all heralded in by a bit of drizzle as Rishi took to the podium to announce the election. Unusual sounds, such as trees cracking or boulders knocking together, can indicate moving debris. But Ed Davey’s squawkings from the sky as he bungee-jumped from the heavens may also have been a portentous sign.
‘Human activity’ has also been cited as a contributing factor to landslide chaos. Irrigation, deforestation and excavation are some of the common activities that can cause destabilisation, but other factors such as having parties during national lockdowns and overseeing historic decline in people’s living standards have also been known anecdotally to contribute to landslides.