As the old adage goes, rugby is a game for all shapes and sizes. Despite many of us mere amateurs claiming that rugby’s size profile has become less diverse over the years the Premiership still boasts a fascinating array of lumps.

In how many other sports could you see two men with a 65-kilogram deficit on the scales wrestle for superiority week-in-week-out.

To celebrate this fantastic quirk and proud facet of rugby, it’s about time we looked at the lightest and heaviest players in the Premiership, breaking down how big this size gap really is.

Rugby lightweight

The lightest player in the Premiership currently is Bristol Bears’ sniper Harry Randall. The pocket rocket scrum-half consistently uses his slight frame to weave and tunnel underneath the league’s behemoths.

Randall, 5’8 in height, comes in at a cool 70kg. Here are some common items that are in fact lighter than the No9.

Zooming

A Washing Machine

Both will leave you spinning, one with his hot-stepping and the other on a cotton wash. Both weigh about the same.

While they can vary, the average household washing machine is around 75kg.

A Moped or Motorcycle

On the topic of things with scary acceleration, the lightest moped or motorcycle in the world is around 78kg, heavier than Bristol’s speedster.

While Randall probably has better agility and a more complete range of motion, it is clear which of the two you’d rather tackle in full flight.

A Photocopier

Have you ever looked at a photocopier and thought: “I wonder what it would be like to rugby tackle this?”. Well the answer is about the same as tackling Randall, except with less limbs and more paper cuts.

7000 Sheets of A4 paper

Can you lift 7000 pieces of A4 paper? Congratulations, you can now lift Randall and are one step closer to achieving your sporting dream – if you were wondering, the heaviest player in the league is equivalent to around 27,000 pieces of A4.

Heavyweight giant

Exeter Chiefs’ Josh Iosefa-Scott is the heaviest player in the league, clocking in at 135 kilograms.

The scrum demolition expert and open-field sledgehammer uses his freakish size to good effect on the rugby field, but surely there are other possibilities for someone of his strength.

Here are some things that Iosefa-Scott is heavier than and could (probably) take in a fight.

A Giraffe’s Neck

Although they are known to weigh up to 220kg, a younger and smaller giraffe neck will weigh around 130kg, less than Iosefa-Scott.

While six foot worth of giraffe neck will be used to fight off predators and fetch food in the Saharan desert, six foot of Iosefa-Scott will rumble around Sandy Park.

A Female Polar Bear

The male polar bear is widely regarded as the most complete and superior predator in the world, however, their female counterparts and partners pale in comparison to the mighty Iosefa-Scott who outweighs the average adult.

Just imagine a polar bear binding up for a scrum makes. It would make you feel sorry for any Premiership prop who goes up against Exeter this year….

A Giant Panda

The cuddly darlings of south-central China, the average adult giant panda comes in at around 120kg, well short of the bruising Kiwi prop.

Unlike Iosefa-Scott, giant pandas are known to lounge around all day, doing little to no exercise, surprising when you consider that one panda eats almost 40kg of bamboo per day.

If you’re reading this, Josh Iosefa-Scott, you’ve officially been challenged to a bamboo eating contest, it is time someone settled this.

So there you have it, you now know what a giraffe’s neck and 7000 sheets of A4 paper have in common, they describe the weird and wonderful relationship that rugby has with size.

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